Cure for my habit of building non-existent relationships-in my head?
February 16th, 2012 | 
Author: Hi, I have a tendency to form romantic relationships in my head. -the meet-up-the acts of love-romantic gestures-the growing distant part (influenced by reality)-the break upAnd they go through stages. When a attractive guy gives me an ounce of flirty attention, I instantly begin to form a romantic relationship with him- in my head. I fall in love easily when I do this. The only way I can get over a guy is when I break up with him in my head. I’ve tried stopping my self, but it doesn’t work because I think about it even more. The good thing is that I fall out of love easily. . . And when we “break up” I end up feeling physical pain- in my chest, and I become deeply depressed. I figured that I must be a very lonely person, which explains why I always surround myself with friends-but it’s never enough. SO, what should I do?I’ve had boyfriends before, but only with men whom I’ve never fantasized with or built a relationship in my head. wow. Okay, I wonder if anyone notice the surrounded by friends part-both male and female. The worst is when my guy friends hit on me, and I don’t care. I should want to date them, not the ones who I barely knowActivities:varsity swimrugbycommunity serviceIt seems that the more i personally know my romantic interest, the less i like himp. s. this bugs the hell out of me
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Aversion therapy. Wear a rubber band around your wrist, snap it when the guy gives you flirty attention, and every time you start thinking bogus romantic thoughts. And, stay more active with real people.
theres a pill for that. plants work better though.
maybe you just have a over active imagination. Maybe you could write a book, maybe even be a really famous writer!
Also, you probably should hang out with more people, just so you are not missing out on life. like join a writers club, see more new people, and us eyour active imagination! prefect.
good luck!
I haven’t heard of that before. I guess the best thing to do is realize what’s in your head and what’s reality, and pay more attention to “oh, it was just a bit of a flirt” instead of “oh, we’re getting married in June.”
OMG I do something similar, except I don’t envision the breakup! I always have happy endings (marriage/children). I’m psycho!
therapy perhaps, but well if its isnt available , then i dont see any harm in this things that are going on inside your head, if that is how you are able to deal with all the issues.
for me my problem is thinking futuristic, too futuristic, whenever a guy tells me he likes me i start to imagine the divorce part
its all normal in a way sometimes to use imagination, just dont get caught up in a place where in you start to beleive that they are true.
Weird…
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An_7j3vrgJiX5XRkNKMhekbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080309195840AAyMfRT
I kind of do this too. I think it’s important to do when you first are dating a guy just to see if you could envision a future with the person. But sometimes it’s not healthy because you make it better in your head than it is in real life..I’ve gotten my hopes up too many times from having an active imagination
You have a very active imagination, not a big deal. I think everyone has done something similar if they are attracted to someone they start playing out the possibilities in their mind. You probably are a little lonely right now, and that is why you are a bit extreme. It will change whenever you find someone to fill that void.
You know I do that sometimes, except for the break up, it generally goes away when I actually find a real relationship or a new interest and then I get the “what was I thinking?” kinda of thing. The important thing is that you aways realize is just imagination and no reality. That way you know your’ not getting crazy! Try to be busy in other things like sports, friends go out , so in order to never get out of touch with real world.
Cheers!
OK, so I don’t know how to really give you any advice, as I have never really done that. I have daydreamed about certain guys, wanting a relationship…but that is pretty extreme. I was kinda chuckling reading you post. Maybe you should start writing romance novels. You’d make a ton a money if your good. If you don’t want to do that, you may want to talk with a counselor and see if they can help you sort out reality and quit creating relationships in your head and start making them real.
Refrain from reading too much fan fiction?
And yeah, nurture your REAL relationships, not just with boyfriends but also with your family and friends. And keep your outlook REALISTIC. Going on and on with fantasies about a guy tend to sharpen reality’s kick when it hits.
I think there’s some danger in what you do so I suggest you quit before it complicates your life (i.e. you can’t tell the diff between what’s in your head and what’s real anymore).
I suggest take up a new hobby or do volunteer work to fulfill your life and keep your head off your imaginary romances. Take up a class. Just keep busy and do something productive.